Loving Devoted Husband

The simple words “Thank You” is easy to say, but sometimes those little words get lost in the everyday things of life I take for granted. Being polite to a new person I meet is easy to say thank you because it is the practice of good manners that I was thought.

In my home I seem to forget to say thank you to my wife and daughter at times. Taking things for granted become a habit after a while and the love that serves the other seems to fade little by little. This will stop, I need to practice saying thank you for all the little things that my wife and daughter does for me because they are doing it because they love me.

When I say thank you to my wife I get a warm smile and sometimes a kiss. My daughter responds with a smile at times with the words your welcome. I need to take that to heart and used that to motivate me to practice it more often.

Saying those two words “Thank You” or “You Welcome” may not seem much but I have to look at the bigger picture of how powerful they are to others. It expresses love in a big way to the other person. Get in the habit of saying thank you to all and every little thing someone does for you. Thank you brings the rewards of love, peace and kindness. I will remember to say thank you. Thank you!

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My wedding ring is a piece of jewelry that never goes out of style. It seems to always be up to date with the times. I believe it’s always in style because of what it means to me. Last night as I was spinning the ring on my finger, I was remembering our wedding day and what the pastor said about the symbol behind the ring. The ring symbolizes love with no end.

When I look at my gold wedding ring, it reminds me that it’s a commitment of endless love to my wife. The promises I made to her. It also shows me that it’s a promise from God and His blessing on marriage. I honor this love with great respect and take it very serious because of the great love He has for me through His son Jesus.

The ring unites my wife and I as one with God’s blessing. It’s a beautiful symbol to let me know that we are in His favor. I look upon it as God trusting me with one of His precious daughters and expecting me to be the perfect gentleman taking care of her. Loving my wife brings great joy because it is expressing my love to God and I always want to be in His favor.

The ring reminds me of abundant love, a long time commitment, and a promise as stated in the scripture of Mark 10:8-9.

“And the two shall become one flesh; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

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At times I fail to listen to everything my wife is telling me. She will explain things in complete detail and as a man I want the final answer. I always fall into this trap of not listening to the entire answer. I have come to realize that she is better at explaining things than I am. Even my questions lack the detail for a proper answer.

I have to first think of the question I want to ask before asking. If I want a quick answer I have to first formulate and ask a detail question worthy of a quick response. Some of our long debated questions and solutions can be easily resolved by us both understanding the question in the first place and that is where I have to change by just listening.

In listening to the whole explanation I notice that other answers to related questions are also answered which is a reward in itself. Praise God! As a man it is always divide and conquer but in a marriage and being a loving husband it’s about being patient and listening to your wife. Remember, God gave us a wife to help where we are the weakest and as a man it’s up to me to recognize the strengths in my wife. Oneness comes by sharing our strengths and weakness.

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Yesterday my wife ask if I could help her with dinner by chopping onions. I agreed to help her because I know how much she appreciates it and I get to spend some time with her in the kitchen. It’s the little things that opens the door to sharing similar interest with each other.

By doing little jobs around the house and helping her may seem a little feminine and not mans work but to her it’s a masculinity she loves about me. I am showing her that I care about her and she really values the love behind my actions. It may be a small thing to me but to her it is very big and will always be treasured.

How do I know this? I know this because her love language is acts of service. Every little thing I do brings us closer to intimacy, a time of sharing each others feelings. When I see the love in her eyes, a warm smile, and sweet thank you followed by a gentle kiss. It now becomes a very big thing to me and motivating to do more things for her because I now see the benefits of my efforts, Her love.

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Being a loving and devoted husband is not easy these days because of all the distraction we face in this rat race we call life. We choose to occupy our time, interest and desires with what the world shows us on television, things we see in a stores or what the other person has that we want.

These are all lies to deceive us. They will rob us of being a loving and devoted husband to our wives and a caring father to our children. Our focus has been set off course and it’s in the wrong place.

I am here to tell you that it can be easy and God’s Word is our guide to help us. If I am out of a love relationship with my wife, God holds me responsible because I am the spiritual leader and bring peace to the family. Our focus needs to be on God first and by having a good relationship with Him and His Son Jesus.

Once love, God’s love is in our heart, it’s easy to love our wives and children because we then learn to forgive. We are not perfect beings but our goal is to become perfect with God’s help. Our mates are not perfect, yet something attracted us to them and we chose to love them and yes, marry them.

Saying “I DO” means we made a commitment, marriage is something you have to work at. Keeping the flame of love burning takes effort to do and only you can make that work. Being devoted means you are loyal to that person. Love comes by serving which in turns leads to intimacy. The scriptures clearly say in Ephesians 5:25

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.”

Loving and being devoted to your wife is easy. The hard part is fighting off the temptation this world puts before us. Draw close to God and trust Him to help you overcome all the temptations that keep you from being a loving devoted husband and caring father.

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Being around your wife everyday can be very good or can lead to lost intimacy if not careful. I take things for granted at times because they are around me daily and I pay it no mind, it sort of just blends into my daily routine. But like most routines we tend to forget some as we add new ones.

The key is to put things into habit and learn from the response that comes from it. Your motivation to continue will come from the kindness you receive.

For example, get in the habit of doing something nice for your wife like washing the dishes, do the grocery shopping for her or just taking time to message her back and shoulders.

Now the response from doing these simple acts of service will bring you a word of thanks, a hug and kiss or even a special meal. She will notice what you consider a small act of love because to her it’s a big act of love.

Surprise her with it, catch her off guard. Whatever the service, remember to do it with love, believe me she will notice the difference.

So if you want a good response make sure it is a good and caring service. Do as Christ did, be a servant and do all acts of service with love and don’t expect anything in return. Let the love of serving be your reward.

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Disagreement is something all couples will face at some point in their marriage. Some are small differences and some are big arguments that lead to hurt feelings, resentment, unforgiveness and sadly, divorce.

After a while it is no longer about the differences but who will win the argument. This is something very serious in a marriage and need to be handled with love.

I have learned that it’s usually my lack of information or knowledge of the subject matter that leads to our disagreement. That’s right I admit that as a man I am not always right, sorry guys. The bottom line is how I handle such a difficult situation. My words can be very hurtful to my wifes’ feelings or they can be caring and understanding.

I am reminded of a scripture in Proverbs 15:1
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

This is so true, raising my voice just adds fuel to the fire but when I speak with a gentle voice of understanding we always resolve a difference and come to an agreement. This is something easy to do but it takes time and practice to master.

The key is talking about the disagreement. Speaking with a soft controlled voice of love for the other person feelings and thinking about how I would like to be treated. Speaking with love and gentleness will always bring peace and intimacy.

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I always looked at a post-it note as just a piece of paper that sticks to something. In fact, I have them all around my desk and computer monitor to remind me of things. Sometimes they become like part of the furniture and are forgotten or ignored until I clean my desk area.

However, I have found that they are very powerful in the romance department. Picture this, I leave early to go somewhere while my wife is still sleeping. I leave a posted note saying “I Love You” on the coffee maker, her computer, the bathroom mirror and one on the console of her car.

When my wife wakes up and begins her day she notices these little I Love You notes posted everywhere. I know her day becomes brighter because she knows her husband is thinking of her and that she is loved and cared for. I then see the beauty of these notes when I get home.

The power of my notes usually surface as a sweet smile, a warm hug and a loving kiss. They are also followed by words of I love you and sparkling eyes of intimacy throughout the day. Peace fills our home and love lingers around the house like an aromatic perfume from a burning candle.

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One of the things I had to learn as a husband was to be aware and take notice of all the subtle things she did to express her love to me. Something that I took for granted at times because it was something she did on a regular basis.

She did these little acts of love so I would take notice of her affection. I’ll admit there were times I drop the ball and had no clue as to what was happening or what she was doing.

I just wanted to kiss her feet at times because of how much patients and how much she believes in our love. I know that God has given my wife a special wisdom into helping me understand. But in order for me to benefit from that wisdom I have to talk with her.

She is not difficult to talk with because she has a pleasant voice. I also realize that when my words are caring and sincere her voice becomes tender like a sweet song and then our level of conversation becomes intimate.

Intimacy is what she desire, oneness with her husband and that is why she gives me these little acts of affection. Sometimes it’s just the way she wraps her arm around mine and other times it may be the way she smiles at me.

Her eyes spoke love from the very first day I meet her and they still do today. The subtle moments when she expresses her love are romantic times for her and she expects love in return.

I have to be aware and always be in tune to those expressions of gentle love. Only by my loving caring responses will our love continue to grow and flourish into a life long marriage relationship.

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