Marriage: Help with… How to… Understanding…
Aug 7th, 2007 by Paul
Marriage is a wonderful blessing. It’s also a big adjustment for two people with many obstacles to overcome. Finances, communication, kids, in-laws, stress at work and a possible affair are but a few things couples will have to deal with.
People get to a point that these obstacles in their marriage are difficult to handle so they begin looking for answers and begin searching for someone to help them.
Whoever or whatever you seek to help in your understanding of marriage and relationships. Always remember that prayer is a vital part of any relationship, especially when it comes to marriage.
Save My Marriage Today Discover Proven Methods to Getting Your Marriage Back On Track, Even if You are Struggling to Communicate with Your Spouse and you are the Only One Who Wants to Work on It.
Save Your Christian Marriage Discover God’s plan for your Marriage and Learn exactly what to do and say.
Better Sex for Christians The Premier Source Of Christian Marriage And Christian Sex Advice Resources. How Christian Married Couples Discover Sex…As It Was Intended!
Conquer Stress, Depression & Anxiety Naturally In Just 90 Days! Feel Calmer, Happier and Healthier With Increased Levels Of Energy and Greater Self Confidence. At Last, You Can Beat Stress, Depression and Anxiety Without Drugs.
The Anatomy Of An Affair What You Must Know About Infidelity & Why it Happens, Even in Good Relationships because there is Absolutely No Need for You to Become Another Infidelity Statistic or Worry About
Cheating Men or Cheating Women in Your Life.
Practical Guide To Christian Financial Freedom Discover Practical Biblical Secrets To Becoming Free From Debt…Achieving True Financial Freedom…And Walking In Gods Blessings From This Day Forward!
Hi,
Our marriage goes up and then it comes down. I know that my husband does not want to really break up when we have dissagreements. He is a hot head and a non believer but has the potential to want God. He has struggled with depression and bipolar for the most part of his life, well since he was a boy. He has been hurt alot from family and other relationship that he doesn’t understand geniune love. We are at this point coming out (or trying to) of addictions. I just recently stopped him from seeing porn and going to adult caberets. He doesn’t like it much but I stand my ground in God. He has been bugging me about a threesome which I consider for him to cheat on me with permission. I battled voices in my head that were in a sexual nature. I called friends and that’s really all I can do because my friends and myself are always on the run. I want to go back and root myself in a church. I sing and always in my secret closet sing to God. I love my husband and I know he loves me but the addictions and the shallow mind games he goes through can be overbearing for me. We have gone to counseling but the women was not Christian, which made it difficult. I use to counsel couples in my church for many years until an actual degree was involve and at that time I couldn’t afford to go back to school much less pay for it. I had been a widow for eight years prior to my second husband (JOHN). I don’t know what to do at this point, I want him and myself to be happy but he is always negative and live for the moment. It has been five years now that we have been married and he still finds it difficult to mingle with my children (teens). And always blames them for everything that goes wrong in the home but he attacks me with it. We have done all the we can to keep this marriage but it’s difficult because I am always on the watch with his addictions and if he will cheat on me. Althought he swears up and down that he would never. In my gut I feel really wierd, I really do feel it’s the enemy but at the same time the addictions attract the female demons too. What do you think and suggest. Divorce is out of the question for sure. I couldn’t bear with a semi-death. Please-please help me-help US
Anita,
Let me first agree with you that divorce is not the answer because God hates divorce, His plan for marriage is perfect and that is the key and the answer to your situation. Get back in church and submit to God’s design for marriage and also seek a Christian marriage counselor.
I will also add that once you are back in fellowship with God, take your request to the Father. I say that because we can not change a person but God can. So get back in a right relationship with God and take your situation to His throne room and pray, pray and pray. He loves His children.
God bless you and keep your focus on Jesus.
Hi, my wife Lori has an addiction to chatting with men online, which often leads to dirty conversations. She sees it as “not real” or “only a joke,” but about 2 years ago, she ended up meeting and having sex with several men from online. She admitted the affairs and we went to counseling, but I’m not sure that was enough. She put on a great act that everything is ok. It’s scary that she just doesn’t understand that what she does online affects our trust and our marriage. It’s extremely hurtful.
One of the reasons I was attracted to my wife before we got married was because she has a strong Christian foundation and has always been very active in our church. I didn’t know that my wife had the addiction until after we were married, but she has told me that she has had the addiction for 10 years and struggled in the past with seeking male attention online. There was a period of time she did not use the computer, mainly because she was working full time and serving in our church, which left little free time. Her addictive use of the computer has caused her to lose jobs and prevents her from living a normal life because she spends most of her free time online.
The thing is, I don’t understand why my wife seeks attention from men online, because I try my hardest to give her everything she needs in our marriage. Lori is basically living a double life, she can put on a great act in front of our friends at church that everything is perfect in her life, but she goes home and instead of spending more time with me, chooses to spend time talking to strangers, which always leads to conversations that are sexually immoral.
None of our friends at church believed me until I provided evidence of her repeated behavior. Nearly 1000 documents consisting of conversations and photos. Our minister is aware of my wife’s struggles and has tried his best to help us, but I sense that this problem is way over his head and he is not really sure how to approach things. She refuses to admit she has a problem and says she does not need counseling, because there is no addiction.
Recently, I’ve started confronting my wife about her addiction problems. I’ve recommended counseling and made it so most of the bad sites are blocked on her computer and now, she is very moody and acts angry like a child. She is now stating that she doesn’t want to be with me anymore and that she wants a divorce. Keep in mind, all of this strange behavior started the next day after I blocked those sites on her computer and has been happening for a few days now.
Until I exposed the evidence of my wife’s behavior, she was a master at making people feel guilty for questioning or suggesting she has an addiction. Who me, how dare you? Are you crazy?
Right now, it seems as though Lori is choosing her addiction over me. I want to be a good husband, but at the same time, I don’t want to be a codependent or an enabler as I have been in the past. What is the best way to approach her addiction problems and get her the help she needs so she can have a normal life and we can have a regular marriage? -David