Is the Answer Divorce or Better Communication
Aug 9th, 2008 by Paul
Have you ever noticed how easy it is today to get a divorce? Really, divorce should not be a common word in our vocabulary but it is. Has divorce gotten out of hand? As a husband I think divorce has gotten out of hand. I consider it to be one of the ugliest words in our everyday life.
It saddens me to see children without their fathers to guide them or mothers to nurture them, women who long for the comfort and security of a loving husband to care for them, fathers who are unable to see their children because of unjust court orders.
Yes, I know that sometimes divorce is needed and it should be reserved for the most extreme cases like sexual immorality or verbal and physical abuse but it has become a child’s playground where any hurt feelings is grounds for divorce. I think it’s selfish to think of ones self rather than focusing on loving unconditional.
Marriage is hard work but it is also one of the strongest bonds between a husband and wife. Children take notice of that strengthening bond of love and grow up relying on that security in order to build their own character.
Based on my own experience I have found that the solution to a lot of indifference is the lack of properly listening to the other person. As individuals we often give an answer to a question then add our opinions as well but that’s not what the other person wanted to hear. It’s confusing.
When communication gets to be a problem then it’s time to go back and start simple by asking questions requiring short answers. When explaining something, allow time between the explanations for your spouse to acknowledge with feedback. This will also be a time to see if the other person is interested or not.
There are a lot of books on communication for married couples but I believe the key is in learning how to listen. I also believe that timing is another factor which needs to be considered because you want your spouse’s complete attention. Then there are times when you just have to listen and be a sound board for the other person to think out loud and get there thought straight.
Whatever the case may be, remember that conversation is vital to a lasting relationship and learning how to communicate better will bring lasting rewards. So if talking or listening to your spouse is a problem then agree together to start fresh and create new ways to speak and put into practice new skills to focus on.